Reprieve

It wouldn't be a stretch to say that I'm the worst blogger of all time, and if I had any readers, I would feel bad, but I don't, so I don't.

Oprah Winfrey is going to Iowa, South Carolina and New Hampshire to give Obama a hand. Um... gross. If I ran into Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah Winfrey on the street at the same time, I would have a tough time figuring out which one to light on fire first (I mean, assuming I can only light one person on fire at a time, of course). I think I'd have to go Oprah, mostly because I think her arrogance alone is highly flammable, so the fire she would create would probably spread to O'Donnell anyway. Two birds, one stone? Check. So, people will really listen to Oprah Winfrey regarding voting for our next president? Really? The same chick that advises me to buy a refridgerator with an LCD monitor in it, and cupcakes that cost fifteen dollars each? The woman who is on the cover of her own magazine each and every month and doesn't seem realize she is the definition of conceit and bitchy nonsense? Yeah? This is my political advisor? AWESOME! I've never agreed that she should be allowed to recommend books to people, let alone presidents. It's further awesome that people might actually care what she has to say. What's next, Phil Donahue for Huckabee? Maury Povich for Kucinich? Maybe Tyra Banks should get her ass on the road for Rudy Giuliani. "I'm here to talk to you about a man. His boobs are real, girl, I've felt them. Ask no more questions about it. Do you see how I can express emotion with my eyes? See, this is happy. This is sad. Notice the difference there? In conclusion, Giuliani is one step closer to becoming America's Next Top President. ps my forehead is ridic."

I think it would be a good idea to move past talk show hosts and just have cartoon characters stump for presidential candidates. Specifically, the muppet babies.