alec baldwin - second coming of christ?

Originally published April 2, 2007

remember when to calling someone a baldwin meant they were cute? me either, but the girls in clueless used that term. Now, the baldwin brothers aren't even that cute. I mean, I don't know which one is which (except for Alec, which we wll get to later) and I don't know their names (ditto other parenthesis), so I did some research. There are two others -- Stephen and Daniel? Oh wait, three others. Yes, though some people will argue that he does not exist, there is in fact a William. I will give you a quick key to remembering which one is which.

Alec - "hilarious one" or "one who was married to kim basinger, didnt end too well" or "best baldwin"

Daniel - "fat one" or "arrested often one"

William - "one known as billy" or "one married to the chick from wilson phillips (not the gastric bypass one)"

Stephen - "one with the squintiest eyes" or "one who kicked ass in usual suspects but then went downhill with biodome" or "crazy christian one"

I am ok if you want to print this out to carry around with you for reference.

It is no secret that I harbor some affection for Alec. Oh, the marital woes, the child custody battles - we all know Kim Basinger is responsible for all of this, probably because no one knows how to pronounce her name correctly and this infuriates her (base-inger, bass-inger, baseinJer, bass-inJer - who knows? but more importantly, who cares... we all know how to say Baldwin). Alec Baldwin is the funniest funnyman on the planet (see: Will & Grace, 30 Rock, him in everyday life) there should be 12 rap songs devoted to him and even more religions. Don't get me started on his humanitarianism. Don't EVEN....