a letter to joe-joe's

Dear Joe-Joe's,

Sometimes when I am at my desk at work in the afternoon, I want a little something sweet. This is why I bought you when I was at Trader Joe's the other day. You are cookies. Like Oreo's, but without trans-fat. I really do not give a flying giraffe about trans-fat, but I like the way you taste. Here is the problem: you are a bit too aggressive. Every two seconds I feel like you are literally jumping inside of my mouth. You are cookies, remember, not carrots. I'm started to think maybe you should have a food change and become carrots... I know, I know, I went there and I shouldn't have. It is not up to me to judge your appearance or calorie content. But in the same regard, it is not fair for you to display yourself so prominently on my desk. Even when I moved you to the floor, you somehow found your way back onto the desk. I thought we had the same life goals -- to give me a little treat in the afternoon. But I see I'm sadly mistaken. The afternoon is not 8am, 10am and noon. The afternoon is not 7pm, 9pm and 11pm. Yes, I double checked and those times are definitely not the afternoon. So, while I do blame you for making me feel like a 2 ton gorilla, I promise to not hold a grude in the future. As long as you get the f off my desk... stat.

Regards,
MVG, esquire


INSPIRATION FOR THIS POST: Mike, my colleague, and of course, JOE-JOE'S. Topic was Joe-Joe's.