my fatal flaw

Originally published July 5, 2006

I can be doing something simple, like writing or eating some lucky charms and of course someone will exclaim, "Oh my! You are left-handed! I didnt know that you are left- handed!" This is an important characteristic of a person? So, am I dead to you now because I happen to prefer my left hand to my right?

I have it rough. Left-handed people are discriminated against. I cant tell you how many jobs I have lost for this very reason. The boss may say I am fired because I "stole money", or "killed the postman for no reason," but I know, that it is really because of my non right-handedness.
Men, they tease me, "Where is your boyfriend?" Wordlessly, I put a pen in hand and begin to write. I see a look of recognition, and then horror, pass over their faces. And, because as a left-handed person I can also read minds, I know they are thinking, "Pity, no man would ever want her and the children that would come from those left-handed genes."

Personally, I dont remember much from childhood, probably because of my handicap. I do remember one thing, clearly: a young, beautiful Megan McGillicutty walks into the first grade. I suppose it is this grade when teachers decide it is time to teach right from left. Drawings of two hands in the front of the room. The right hand? Fluffy cotton balls, pasted right on there.

The left hand?

Sandpaper.

It was a shame when, many years later, that first grade teacher was found roaming the halls of that elementary school, confused. It seems her face had been scraped clean off. "It must have been some kind of wild animal," the police said. "Surely no one would have taken sandpaper to her face."

Surely no one indeed.