A Fairy Tale

There once was a town called Cheeseland. In Cheeseland, everything was made of – guess? No, not cheese. Kittens! Yes, everything, from the buildings to the trees to the fire hydrants was made of kittens. Dead ones. But Cheeseland was a magical place where dead kittens smell like cotton candy, so the whole town smelled gloriously of cotton candy.

In this town there was a little boy named Tommy, who said to his mom every day, "when I grow up, I am going to be the MAYOR of Cheeseland." And his mom would laugh and laugh and say, "Oh Tommy, don't be silly, you know the political figures in our town are all Robot Dogs!" But Tommy didn't laugh along, for his dream was to be the mayor of Cheeseland.

As Tommy grew up, he worked hard and got the best grades in school – better than any of the growing Robot Dogs, for sure, and after school, he worked at the mayor's office. The mayor, a Robot Dog by the name of Gordon McRobotDog, was quite fond of Tommy and told him when he graduated from Dead Kitten High, he would make him his personal assistant. Tommy was full of glee when he heard this offer, and continued to work hard, cook his dead kittens just right, and so on. But in the back of his mind, of course he knew that being the assistant to the mayor was not being THE mayor.

And so graduation day came, and it was a good day. It even rained special dead kittens that smelled of spiced gum drops. Tommy was happy. The mayor was even there! Then, in front of anyone, Tommy took out a gun. A gun sort of like those guns that shoot t-shirts. But this gun shot kittens. No, not dead ones. LIVING KITTENS. Through his hard work in school, Tommy learned that Robot Dogs can only be killed by one thing: yes, you guessed it, living kittens. Tommy killed all of the Robot Dogs that day. And then killed the kittens because he felt like it and was just used to having dead kittens all around him (wouldn't you be?). And because the rest of the town was scared of him, they made him mayor. And thus the story of how Tommy lived out his childhood dream of becoming mayor. The end.